Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
