Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
