sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Randomize