Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
