You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
