You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
