I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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