I wanna passion pit in your ass
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
These tits shall not be calmed
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
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