He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize