So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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