i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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