were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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