you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize