If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
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