just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
