Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
do nipples grow back?
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