lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
