508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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