i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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