I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize