I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize