I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
