I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
