kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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