I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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