Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize