I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
