I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
