so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
