I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
