I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
