Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
