I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
