we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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