Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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