he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
