I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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