dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize