How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize