Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
