if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
