none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
