I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize