whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
