my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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