My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
