Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize