out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
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