I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He did a backflip because drugs
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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