if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
