508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
