i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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