hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
