I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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