I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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