I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
