it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
