do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
