...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize