??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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