i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Edward fifth and chaser hands
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
