In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
