If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
