he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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