Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
