I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize
