Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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