My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize