She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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