I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
