so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize