dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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