honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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