pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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