don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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