I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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