I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
he thought i was a dude.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
